Three Months & Some Change...

Dear Ethan,

So I couldn't do my little monthly musing on the actual day you turned 3 months; forgive Mommy, she's been a little under the weather & on that day, a nap, rather than blogging, seemed essential to her very survival. But I am here now...

This month, as the other two, has flown by at an unbelievable pace. Partly I think it's because I was sick for almost half of the month, but also because I am realizing that when you fall madly in love with someone and want to squeeze the most out of every second together, the time/space continuum plays a dirty trick on you and speeds things up, so everything seems to whisk by before you've even noticed it.

Your Daddy and I are amazed at how much you are changing every day these days. Yesterday I decided to start packing up some of your preemie clothing, which stopped fitting you about 5 lbs ago. Being the big old sap that I am, I held up my favorite preemie outfit against you as you lay in your crib--it's neck came up to the middle of your chest--it was just so tiny. I can hardly believe you were ever that itty bitty, now that you are tipping the scales at about 10 lbs and turning into a pudgy little baby.

Your hair, which when you were born reminded us of a middle-aged comb over, continues to grow and fill in, leaving us wondering just what color it is going to be when it decides to settle down. It is dark, seemingly brown, but in certain lights it has mahogany red highlights in it that leave us wondering if a couple days in the sun might not turn you into the elusive redhead that hides within our families' genepools. It also has quite the mind of its own in terms of its daily style. Your pediatrician likes to take the hair on the top of your head and spike it up while he examines you (we LOVE him). Yesterday you had a bit of a "flock of seagulls" thing going on--a baby pompadour, if you will....you are stylin', my little man.

Your eyes are doing their slow change from deep blue to whatever color they are going to be. In some lights, they are already a honey brown. In others they are grey, greenish or still clinging to the blue they have no hope of retaining. Regardless of their color, they have been so attentive the past several weeks, watching Mommy and Daddy (particularly Daddy) so carefully. You make eye contact like never before and you watch our mouths as we talk to you. You have also developed a love of the TV; I hope it is the bright lights and primary colors that attract your infant eyes as opposed to the initial signs of a couch potato in the making. Please rebel against mommy and daddy in the future by watching way less TV than we do; if it weren't for TiVo, we might leave the house more often. Or maybe not. We try not to let you watch it, but sometimes when we are holding you, you manage to sneak a peak. I see years of "Don't sit so close to the TV; you'll hurt your eyes!!" in my future.

A couple weeks ago you did something amazing. You insisted on nursing basically every hour during the day for almost two days straight. Then you slept almost an entire day. When you woke up the next day, you were a new little boy, with smiles and half-giggles and an entirely new awareness of and interest in your toys. Rather than crying yourself awake in the morning, I got a real smile as you woke for the day and saw me coming to get you. Instead of 3-4 minutes on your play mat before melting down and needing to be rocked for hours on end, you now enjoy 10-15 minutes of kicking and exploring on the mat, bouncy seat or swing before needing to be rocked for hours on end (that hasn't changed so much). It's so much fun to watch you explore and imagine what is going on in that little baby brain of yours.

Then Mommy got sick and went to the hospital; those were the hardest days of parenthood so far for me. Mainly because I practically stopped being a parent. The day we went to the ER, my fever was 104 and I thought I MIGHT stay overnight one night. If I had known that I was going to be dragged into a blackhole of medicinal incompetence that would take me from you for six days and render my boobs virtually useless, I would have just packed myself in ice and taken the antibiotics I'd been given by my OB.

Since being home, we've had to readjust to eachother. Daddy did such a good job taking care of you while I was away that we really had to find our rhythm again and it took a little time. Of course, that's mainly because the milk-machine was on the fritz. Pumping and nursing weren't very compatible with a raging fever and short daily visits, so the boobs just about completely forgot that they have a job to do. We're working on getting the factory going again, ramping up production and working overtime. We have good days where everything is going to be fine and bad days that remind me of the very first times we tried to nurse. We are only at three months; I hope we get to the six month exclusive mark; the last week or so has really challenged that goal, but we're sticking with it.

Speaking of sticking with it, this is sort of a 3 month and 3 day thing, but your tummy time paid off earlier this week and you ROLLED OVER!!! Of course, I screamed at your daddy to come see, but not only was it all over by the time he got there, but your daddy nearly killed himself running down the stairs because he didn't know what I was carrying on about. Ooops. It was so exciting, though, to see you set your mind to something and accomplish it! Once you got over, you just sort of laid there, relieved it was over and happy to stare at your lamby mobile going round and round---you love that thing!

No pictures this time around, just because I want to get this published already and blogger's been a bitch about pictures lately. You know there are already albums filled with pictures of you! Next month I promise I'll be more on the ball and get your monthly update done before you head off to college...

Mommy and Daddy love you more and more everyday. I can't wait to see what the next month has in store for us!