Monday, August 03, 2009

What have I been up to?

Apparently, futzing around with mah blog.  I've had like three different backgrounds in three days, but I haven't been able to write a word.  Erm.  Maybe I missed my calling as a blog designer. And by "designer" I mean someone who can google search "free blog backgrounds," pick pretty designs out of a vast selection, copy and paste codes and put the code in a "HTML gadget" and hit "save".    So.  Maybe not really a designer.  Maybe more of a professional time waster.  

But anyway, this is the one I've settled on for the time being.  You like? 

Not that anyone visits.  My google analytics has gone off the deep end and for the past month has told me that exactly 0 people have visited my site.  Once I stopped breathing into a paper bag at having lost my beloved, however teensy, following, I realized.  Um.  I'm still getting comments.  From people visiting my site.  So.  What gives? Someone mentioned that perhaps it was my new penchant for background swapping that has confused google analytics, but if the program can't handle my fickle attraction to pretty colors and designs, then I ask you, what good is it to me?! sheesh. 

So can anyone tell me what analytics program you use that might be able to withstand my burgeoning background habit?  Or is that not google analytics' issue and they're just punk'ing my delicate little blogging ego? 

In other, more interesting news, we took Ethan to his first (and, erm, my first) hot air balloon festival this weekend.   We were invited by friends up to Ventura to attend the festival, which we thought would be at the small local airport.   It didn't really occur to any of us that giant fabric  balloons perhaps shouldn't share space with sharp and blurrily-fast moving propellers. Duh.  So we stopped at the airport to find the actual location of the festival, and proceeded to drive to the dustiest place on the face of the earth.  Wish I'd thought to take pictures of the dust that our friend's car kicked up in front of us as we pulled into the parking lot--Dustbowl of '35 came to mind (note to self: re-read The Grapes of Wrath--your brain is getting mushy).  

After waving our hands in front of our eyes until we could see through the cloud o' dust, we made our way to the fairgrounds.  Where there were no balloons.  Hm.  We looked around at each other, and at the festival posters, all which displayed a beautifully rainbow patterned hot air balloon.  So, this was the place.  But just without hot air balloons.  Maybe it's just me, but I think it's hard to call yourself a hot air balloon festival when you've got zero balloons.  But maybe I just have unreasonable expectations? 

Turns out, they had tried to launch earlier in the day, but it had been too windy, so they cancelled plans.   They were, however, planning on a night launch at 7:30pm.  Not the most convenient time for a preschooler whose bedtime is, oh....7:30pm.  But whatever.  Before we had to worry about that, we amused ourselves with the oddly inappropriate sinking Titanic slide, a bevy of pimped-out, classic cars and even a few souped-up, vintage Schwinns. 

We spent some time ooh'ing and ahhh'ing over the cars, which ranged from Model-T's to some shiny purple monstrosity that had televisions and computer screens for every passenger (and I think some disco track lighting on the floor---bow chicka bow wow).  It's hard to take two preschoolers to a car show and expect them to keep their hands to themselves.  So after saying, "No honey, don't touch!" eleventy billion times, we decided to leave the fairgrounds, perhaps to return for the evening launch.  

Our friends took us to lunch at an airport restaurant and we dined among the deafening buzz of prop planes gearing up for take-off and the fumey goodness of jet fuel burning.  Nothing says "tasty burger!" like the smell of jet fuel, right?  For what it's worth, it actually was one of the tastiest burgers ever, but I was keenly aware of the carcinogens swirling around my family.  I'm uptight like that.  

The best part of the day?  Digesting that burger while lounging on our friends' couch, holding their 10-day old baby boy while his mom got a nap.  Ten-days old, blogosphere.  Oh my aching uterus, he was snuggly!!  But let's not even go there because that's all happy sweet, snuggly, talc-y-smelling baby talk that spirals quickly down into "oh my god what's wrong with my body that it won't let me have another one of these preshus little things?? whymewhymewhyme??!" So, you know, I think you've gotten enough of that from me in the past few months. 

We did decide to throw caution to the wind and let Ethan stay up until an ungodly hour so that we could take him to the balloon launch.  

And?  No launch.  

However, we did get to sit among several balloons, watching them get blown up.  Many of them couldn't, shall we say, keep it up, and ended up deflating in a light breeze (seriously, the Viagra people are missing a perfect advertisement metaphor by not tapping the impotent hot air balloon market--watching one deflate and fall to the ground right next to one that was big and full and girthy.  Seriously, marketing people.  Get with it) 

We sat and watched the balloons inflate and sway on the ground for a good hour or more.  But none took off.  In our "look how pretty!!!" stupor, we didn't really notice that the 3 year olds were fa-reaked out by the giant balloons mere feet from them and the "WHOOOOOOSH" of the gas flames that lit up the balloon every 45 seconds or so.  So, by 9pm, we decided to call it a night.  

You'd like pictures? I can do that for you...

running in breathless anticipation towards the balloons that don't exist.  Isn't that just like life

hideously inappropriate blow-up slide of the sinking Titanic. Because nothing says "fun for the whole family" like sliding down the deck of a sinking ocean-liner to your death. 

vehicle for the family really hoping to be distracted enough by technology that they don't notice when they drive into a bridge abutment. 

check out the award-winning Schwinn, complete with pink fuzzy banana-seat.  

another shot of this because, seriously...

and, the balloons...

even the smiling panda couldn't convince the kids that this was super-fun stuff.  Don't they look so happy?!  


Sarah said...

you just have to re-paste the google analytics code at the very bottom of your template-- right before the body tag.

LOVE the balloon launch pictures! Also the new background- my fave so far for sure

Becca said...

That slide is a riot! Who thinks this stuff up?

I like the new background too.

AJU5's Mom said...

Was the night thing supposed to a a true launch? Where we live, they do night glows (which is what the pictures look like). They tether the balloons and make them glow - perfect for actually seeing the balloons up close!

And they have to launch when it is cool so physics works for them... Sorry - spent too many years working in the educational tent at our balloons festival - knowledge overload... But you should go some time and see them fly - it is amazing!

lonek8 said...

I also had tht problem with google analytics - thought I skipped a few days to move and everyone decided to hate me (I told you I was sensitive) but really all I had to do was repaste the code in my html thingy. I love your idea for the Viagra commercials - would be SO much better than that horrible viva viagra stuff they have now. that seriously makes me want to barf. I will also now be spending all of my time thinking of a reason to hold a big enough party that I can get that slide. because that thing is awesome. I could keep going, because I have other things to say about hot air balloons, but they will only be interesting to me so I'll stop now. :)

blurbr said...
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Anonymous said...

the titanic is hilarious.

um, so i have no idea about the google analytics blah blah blah. can you tell me how to do it (if you figure it out so it works)?