Is today.
I have to say, since having my own child, I view my birthday entirely differently. I no longer think of it as just a day to get presents and be the Royal Princess of Pay-Attention-to-Me that I usually am (although I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it). Since having Ethan, and knowing what the day he came into this world was like for me, I now spend more time on my birthday thinking of my mother.
Having been through labor and delivery (well, labor and surgery), I am fascinated by the idea that my mother gave birth to me. That she had contractions, went into labor and popped me out all on her own. Yes, I realize people do that all the time, but until I did it myself, it didn't really sink in that someone did that for me, too. And it's pretty amazing.
Being a mother has deepened my gratitude for my own mom--not just in that she gives me some pretty good advice when I'm willing to listen to it (I got a stubborn gene, without doubt, from her, so she can't really complain when I don't take her advice; I'm just doing an excellent job of being her daughter). I find myself these days, and especially on my birthday, just grateful that she had me in the first place, and I wonder what went through her mind the first time she saw me, or heard me cry, or held me in her arms.
Eighteen months ago, as I lay in my hospital bed, watching my contractions on the monitor, and mercifully, feeling no pain, I remember looking across the room at my mom, who was playing cards with my dad, and thinking, "When she did this, she was alone in a room with nothing but her pain and the hope that it would be worth it in the end." I am so thankful that my experience, although cut short by a c-section, was the peaceful, loving event that it was, but I am doubly thankful for my mother for enduring what she went through on this day, 432 months ago.
Shit, I'm old.
5 comments:
Happy Birthday!!! You don't look a day over 25. :)
I love this post. Its so true, isn't it?
Aw, how sweet. What a great entry! Happy birthday-- enjoy not breastfeeding and/or being knocked up, and have some sushi and champagne! Or maybe lunchmeat and beer. Either way-- live on the edge.
Yes, a great entry... Although my imagination cannot overcome the handicap that being a male brings to really knowing how it feels to be a mother, your ability (and willingness) to express what is in your heart helps me know and admire you as a person. Happy 36th Birthday to a young and wonderful mom. As someone who also began to see my life from a different perspective at the age of 30, you ain't old (and at 69, neither am I).
As a young mom whose own mother died a couple years before my daughter was born, it is wonderful to read about someone appreciating their mother.
Reading this post touched my hear & brought tears to my eyes.
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