Saturday, October 13, 2007

"No need to fret, it's not like he's dying..."

Or, "Inane things the pediatrician said during Ethan's 17m weight-check"

Yes, you read that correctly. Those were the thoughtful words Dr. Footinmouth came up with when we discovered that Ethan is holding steady at the 18lbs mark, give of take a couple of ounces.

Here's the recipe folks: you take one mom of a preemie and all the guilt that entails (it fades into the back of your mind, but never goes completely away), mix in a toddler who weighs less than most kids 1/2 his age, and add a heaping spoonful of doctor who was apparently absent on the day "bedside manner, importance and execution of," was discussed in med-school, and VOILA! you have an incredibly inappropriate comment that turns said Mama into a pile of vibrating-with-rage mush right there in the office.

Had Ethan not been stripped down to a diaper, we would have stormed out of there in a huff of righteous indignation. I have always wanted to pull a, "Good day, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY!" and make a grand exit, but the closest I ever got to that was slapping Brian Richard in 8th grade when he asked me at a dance if I wanted to go out back behind the school and "do it".

Because clearly, as a parent, my concern for my child's wellbeing extends only so far as he is not in mortal danger or clinging to life. As long as he's not dying, I have "no need to fret". Obviously. I mean, you don't want to be one of those helicopter parents, right? So, new leaf in parenting for us--just keep him away from knives, traffic, and poisonous snakes--anything other than that is going above and beyond, and hey, I'm sure there's a good E! True Hollywood Story on that I'd rather be watching (perhaps on Britney Spears....)

In the same breath that I was told to chill out, I was also given two prescriptions; well, a prescription and a referral. The referral was for a nutritionist (who I am sure will tell us to feed Ethan more....excellent idea. Why didn't I think of that before? I'll just feed him more!) and the prescription was for an appetite stimulant.

Before I go off on the rampage that is my reaction to THAT, let me digress for a moment and muse over the irony that I have spent the past decade and a half of my life trying to suppress my appetite and the weight that comes with it, and I have given life to a child who has, apparently, no appetite. I swear, I have no idea who or what I was in a previous life, but I am fairly certain I was bad. And probably skinny. If I had to guess, I am thinking I probably made fun of fat people and karma is laughing at me all the way to enlightenment.

Back to my rant...seriously? An appetite stimulant? For my 17 month old? A drug that's given to anorexics, only works 50% of the time to increase appetite and isn't even FDA approved for this use (it's an antihistimene given to chicken-pox patients)?? Let me also add here that Ethan is already on a laxative daily to prevent the horror show that is his experience with constipation. He wants Ethan also to be taking this appetite stimulant THREE TIMES a day before meals. So, Dr. Footinhismouthandsuperdrughappy, would rather medicate my child's entire digestive system than do any investigation into why he eats and drinks, but doesn't gain weight and can't poop.

Just thinking about putting all that stuff into my child is enough to make my head hurt. So instead of talking about it anymore, here just look at how cute:

I do not have time to eat, Mama; I have crayons.

2 comments:

Kyle said...

What?! Sounds strange to medicate a 17 month old that heavily... have you thought about seeing a naturopath? We have a friend who is into that and it does really seem to make sense. Especially as you say = he evidently has digestive issues, not just a lack of appetite. Besides, he is FINE! Not sad, sickly, missing milsetones, etc. Why not just let him be a thin kid? Doesn't seem like its hurting him.

And hey, cherish your 18 lbs of lifting - ours at 28 lbs is NOT fun. You would have thought my arms would be super toned. But nope, still flabby. So there is really no advantage to a chunky baby!

Anonymous said...

My 20-month old struggles with constipation. I took her to a peds GI doc b/c my pediatrician was driving me nuts with no answers. I thought my daughter was straining to go, but it turns out that she is straining to hold it in. When we first started solids way back when, she got constipated. It hurt to poop at that time & she learned that it hurts. So now she doesn't want to go to avoid the pain. She is currently on Miralax (mix it into drinks - much easier to get her to take that than the syrup-y lax she was on) to soften the stool.

The peds GI guy said that she won't become dependent on it & that she needs to relearn that it won't hurt. To do that, she must poop willingly & without pain (hence the stool softener - make it so soft that she can't hold it in & it won't hurt). We go back for a check-up next month, but not much has changed. We now encourage her to "let the poopy out", but there are times when she'll go DAYS without a real bm. She then gets extremely cranky & won't eat, so we give her a glycerin suppository to help things along (which it does and does WELL). I use this as an absolute last resort when she has visibly held it in for at least three days straight.

Not sure if E's problem is the same/similar/even related, but thought I'd pass along an idea from one mommy of a non-pooper to another. Good luck!