And yet here I am, with a stack of business cards sporting my blogs' names and plans to attend, at last count, six parties in three nights, fretting over what shoes go with what skirt and, oh yeah, will anyone have heard of my tiny little blog when I get there?
The cards? All I can say about those is thank the lord for Twitter. I joined awhile back, became annoyed by the sheer idiocy of yet one more pocket of the interwebs in which to deposit my inane thoughts and "this is what I am doing at this very moment" updates, and pretty much wrote it off. Then I randomly started following a few bloggers on Twitter and (cue giant sucking sound) I was pretty much hooked. One of the first things I saw was someone say "I just ordered my business cards for BlogHer!!" My head kind of exploded a little bit---business cards? Really?! For what?! Sigh.
But? When in Rome, my friends. So I got me some Vistaprint business cards that day. Would love to show them to you, but I cannot seem to get my last name to black out enough to make them blogosphere-friendly. But they are a super zen-y water ripple, probably giving potential new readers the idea that I am some sort of yoga practicing, om-meditating, mellow mama who writes about the vision of my third eye and how open my chakras are. Won't they be surprised???!! Don't get me wrong--I really want to be those thing. I'm just, erm, a little too highly strung. Is that a nice way to say it? Okay.
So that's the business card thing. There's also the party issue--all of these parties that I've RSVP'd to, hosted by the "big bloggers." This is the part that freaks my freak. There's all this encouragement to "say hi!!!" "smile at people!" "Don't be afraid to talk to people!" "We're all just big nerds!" But my fear is that is a mask for "We are so a sorority that is going to beat you down in a 2-day long rush that will drain every ounce of self-esteem and confidence you have as you try to make us like you, sucker!!!"
I'm a pretty weird combination of socially awkward and uber-outgoing. The idea of approaching someone I don't know and trying to start a conversation? Would rather chew off my own arm, really. But once someone starts talking to me? I'll pretty much invite you to my next pap exam (I swear I really won't, though. I just like hyperbole...a lot). I think of myself as a shy over-sharer, which seems paradoxical, but I just kind of need someone else to make the first move. To show an interest. Then, I will most likely talk until your interest has been sucked dry and is nothing but a dried-out husk of it's former self. Sounds good, huh? It's all so, so awkward. Believe me, I know.
Fortunately, I am planning on attending the parties with a few women I already "know." Having shared our blogs with each other for as long as we have, I am confident that they already know and like me enough that I won't have that nervous verbal diarrhea. I will hopefully behave myself in the same "she's a pretty normal, funny girl!" kind of way that most people I am friends with think of me. And that will put me at ease enough that I can spread my wings a bit and introduce myself to a few new people, too. I hope. But there's always the chance that for weeks to come, dozens of bloggers will be saying, "And then there was this girl...." as they recount their own memories of BlogHer, and "this girl" will be me, and I will have done something like talk their ear off, chattering a million miles and hour, stopping only to take a giant swig of some fruity booze drink.
The really ridiculous thing about my going to BlogHer? I don't even have a ticket. Nope. Just going to hang out and chat with people in the lobby. Talk about blogs an' stuff. I did have a moment of breathless excitement today when an email popped up in my inbox from the BlogHer organizers about my waiting-list status. I thought, "could it be???!!! Is there a ticket with my name on it?! Squeeeee!!!" But no, there wasn't. Just a "hey, here are some things you can do since you can't get into BlogHer!" Lame.
But still, I won't be the only blogger going to BlogHer and not going to BlogHer. There are lots of us. And from what I can tell, they all have business cards, too. It's really just this huge excuse to sit around with a bunch of women, drink coffee (oh, and booooze), talk about our lives, our aspirations, our kids and who we are. And wear pretty shoes. I'm pretty excited about the shoes.
So, if you read this and you're going to be at BlogHer, don't be afraid of the potential over-sharing. Say "hi" to me and I'll do my best not to verbally puke all over you. And I'll give you one of my cards.