Look kids! Big Ben!!...Parliament!!!

Except in our specific case, it was "Hoover Dam!!! Red Rock Canyon!!"

I'm not sure why as a parent I am the slightest bit surprised by my child's raging apathy towards all things historically significant and/or aesthetically compelling. I've seen all the National Lampoon Vacation movies, and the disdainful glares and optical-nerve-sprain-inducing eye rolls the Griswold children are capable of as their parents cart them all over hell & creation is not new to me. As a matter of fact, in the movies, its down right hilarious. Look at how pissed off those kids are at their parents for ripping them away from their friends in the name of magical family bonding time!!! Hahaha! Hahaha...ha...ha...erm. heh...

Turns out, not so funny when it's your kid, too young to be schooled in the ways of even the remotest bit of self-restraint. And the whining. Oh, the whining!!! Believe me, if Ethan were just sitting in the back seat pouting and rolling his eyes at us, that would be awesome. Bring the silent misery, kid! It's the obsessive vocalizing of his displeasure at the situation every. freaking. second. that drives me over the edge.

But thank you so much, internets, for validating us & our decision to cart his whining butt all over the historical landmarks and natural treasures of this land. The next time Ethan is whimpering in the back seat that what he reaaaaaaaaaaaallly needs is a play date with our next door neighbor or to go home and play with his Wii drums, I will have no problem turning around from the front seat and telling him, "The internet says this is good for you!!! Someday you'll appreciate this!!!!" (which is basically what I say to him now, minus the internet validation part).

Want to see some of the pictures of the places that stole hours from Ethan's life that he'll never get back? Okay!

Hoover Dam:

Really freaking cool. "It's like an upside down pyramid, Ethan!!!" "Did the slaves from Egypt build it?" Yay, Jewish preschool education!!!

Oh, happy day!

Husband? Is a wayyyyyy better parent than me. Maybe its because I spend so much more time with a 5 year old and I just don't have the reserves of patience that he has. Maybe he's just better at it than me. But this was 5 minutes after we'd parked the car & Ethan was already in a full-blown whine rant, with "I want to go to the ppooooooool" on a continuous loop. I had stomped off in a typical only-child huff of "I can't deal with this," (its good that at least I can recognize my weaknesses, right?!), and Husband did the whole get down on his level, validate his feelings and then try to strike a compromise. Seriously, sometimes I think if he'd had lactating boobs, I could have lifted right out of the equation.

The giant fake smile. He feels the magic of the bonding. And the historical significance. Can you tell?

Really enjoying the tour.

Good times!!!!

The view from the dam itself (as an aside, I keep spelling it "damn." No wonder my kid keeps saying things like, "what the hell?!" Awesome.)

Those smiles? Squinting in the sun. I kid! I kid! (um. sort of)

The best part of the trip for Ethan? Smashing a penny in the gift shop.

He also enjoyed pretending that he was holding up the whole mountain while standing on this zodiac map thing we couldn't quite figure out the significance of. Sooooo, when you go to Hoover Dam, remember: kids like to smash the pennies and pretend to be super heroes holding up mountains. They ought to put that in the guide book.

Red Rock Canyon:

Ethan was momentarily interested when we...um...totally lied to him and told him we were going to be looking for dinosaur bones. (what?!!! It could happen....)

...and when we got to pretend to be a giant lizard in the visitor center...

but as soon as we got into the actual beauty & awe-inspiring magnificence of nature? There was much whining. We did, however, manage to take some deceptively joyful looking pictures, so here you go....

tour guide Ethan....

this looks like fun family bonding, but its actually Husband taking a picture with his iPhone and Ethan whining that he doesn't want to go for a walk among the amazing pretty rocks.

but he does want to pose like king of the world on top of one of the rocks. Naturally.

Seriously these rocks were amazing.

amazing.

And thus ends our Saga of a Whining Kid, the Vegas Edition. Stay tuned for the continuing adventures of the Whining Kid, which returns to its regularly scheduled whining today as I attempt to entertain said kid in rainy, cold weather. Good times ahead, folks. Good times!