Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The One Where I Kvetch About the Size of My Ass...

So today I had to go to Old Navy and purchase a pair of jeans that could replace the spinnaker on a sailboat. It is depressing. I mean, really--he was 4lbs, 13oz people! That accounts for about 5lbs of the forty--yes, forty, that I managed to pack on. Where is my size 8 body??!! Yes, yes I know--"9 months up, 9 months down" and yes, I know that my body just performed an incredible feat and under difficult circumstances. Fine. Let's all join hands and sing a verse of Kumbya in honor of my body's tremendous accomplishment. And then let's call Dr. 90210 for a consultation on some serious lipo...

I lost 20 lbs within the first two weeks, and that leaves me with approximately 20 extra pounds. Perhaps that would not bother me so much if I hadn't spent my entire 20's battling the exact same 20 lbs. I am one of those girls who went to college, discovered fruity, frozen drinks and proceeded to pack on the freshmen, sophomore and junior 30. By senior year, I was waddling to class. It took me almost a decade to really get in gear and shed it. I cannot adequately express the fear that strikes me when I think it might take me another decade to get rid of this baby fat. Buying those jeans in a size I haven't worn during my 30's almost drove me to fill my prescription for Zoloft.

I would love to work out. Really I would. I would go to the gym this very instant, or even get down on the floor of my livingroom and knock out 100 crunches right now. But, see, I have this baby and he has a thing for being held. All. The. Time. Unless he is sleeping, he insists on being in my arms. I must have signed some contract or something because he is really adamant about it. Of course, he's not in my arms at this exact moment (ahhhhh, sleeping babies are the bestest babies in the world!!), but that means I have a choice to make: crunch or blog. Something tells me that "blog" will win out in that race every time...my fingers will be in magnificent shape.

if only I could teach my ass to type...

2 comments:

KMW said...

I know how you feel, believe me. After one pregnancy ending halfway through, and then starting a new one 3 months later, I started this one out about 10lbs over my usual weight and now I am well on my way to my own 40lbs of weight gain. All that said, don't be hard on yourself! You did a great job and it WILL come off. You have full permission to give yourself a break and know that it does take time and it won't be this way forever. Really. I am sure of this.

miraclebaby said...

The weight gain is wierd to me. As far as actual poundage I have not gained quite 20 lbs yet.... so WHY is my butt so big? Why are my arms so flabby? We'll get back in shape, just gotta give it some time. I am sure the breastfeeding will help, too! You are a beautiful mom no matter what.