Also? I've Never Won The Lottery...

So, I post about Ethan's securely fixed teeth and two days later?

LOOSE TOOTH!!!!

A bonafide, even-I-can-feel-it-wiggling-around-in-its-little-tooth-socket loose tooth.  There's got to be some kind of magic in this here blog...say it isn't so and it will become so...hence, the lottery title.  Come onnnnn, MegaMillions! Mama needs new shoes!

Yesterday while we were at the beach, Ethan took a couple bites of his turkey sandwich and then decided he was done.  He was quiet and mopey for awhile, refusing to dig in the sand, frolic in the waves or otherwise be a six year old on the beach.  Given that he is like a 14 year old girl a little moody lately, I just went about my business of slathering on the SPF and having the mandatory mom panic attack about the balance between cancer protection from the sun and cancer risk from the sunscreen (and did you know that California is discussing banning the use of flame retardant chemicals on furniture because of the cancer risks associate with said chemicals?! I had no idea I was sitting on fucking cancer chemicals every time I sat on the damn couch.  Jesus).

I digress (as usual).

My friend and I went to dip our toes in the icy Pacific and that's when Ethan decided he was ready to share his big news.  "Mommy, you know why I didn't want to eat so much of lunch? I really really definitely have a loose tooth!!" And when he opened his mouth, I didn't even need him to tell me which one it was--I could see his lower left front tooth was bleeding just a teeny little bit and that it wasn't in its normal position.  When I poked it, it moved way more easily than I thought a just barely loose tooth should, but there it was.  Wiggly tooth.

mmmm, turkey & sand sandwich.  Now with 100% more sand!

Trying to show me his loose tooth...

Just being too cute. 

Once he got past the initial THAAAAAA-RILLLLLLL of being the first kid to ever have a loose tooth (what? he's not?  Oh.  I should let him know), he decided to put on the bathing suit and jump in the waves.  With a big toothy grin. 

The vastness of the ocean and the masses of seaweed wrapping themselves around his ankles and making him scream in equal parts fascination and horror took his mind off of his tooth and its eminent departure from his mouth for a bit.  But as soon as we got home, there was much angst over what he thought he could and couldn't eat.  Apparently until this tooth falls out, he is on a strict self-imposed diet of scrambled eggs and Jamba Juice. And then there was a lot of "mommy, it huuuuuuuuurts" and wide eyed looks of panic and squeamishness. A fantastic case of "be careful what you wish for."

In the past 24 hours, I've heard such sweepingly contrasting statements as "I can't wait too loose ALL my teeth!!!!" to "I never want to lose a tooth, Mommy," and a whole lot of in betweens including questions of exactly how much this whole tooth losing business is supposed to hurt.  "Its going to BLEEEEED?!!!!" he has repeatedly asked, I am guessing reliving his ripped open chin and the deluge of blood that accompanied it.  I've assured him that its all relatively painless and bloodless, but that yes, it will be a little sore and it will bleed a little and will certainly feel super weird as it gets looser and then when it falls out and that space is empty.


But I guess all my reassurances are to no avail because this is how I found him this morning....

Lying on the couch with a paper towel jammed in his mouth.  Once I got over the panic and stopped looking for whatever intruder it was that had bound and gagged my child with a full-sized sheet of Bounty while I was in the rest room, I asked him what in the Sam Hill he was doing.  "Its in case it bleeds!" he informed me.  In case it bleeds.  The little tiny tooth that is wiggly, but not in any immediate danger of falling out of his head.  Requires an entire paper towel.  Shoved into his mouth.

Last night, Ethan needed to call my mom and dad to tell them about the loose tooth.  He was so excited to share his very excitinghappyscarythrilling news with them.  My father, in turn, was very excited to share with him the information that he's heard the tooth fairy's going rate is now $10 per tooth.  Nice.

But I guess, when I win the MegaMillions lottery, I can afford to get in good with a very generous tooth fairy.