Is that I'm old. Old. Old. Old.
I know this because today was *early release day* for the high schools in my local school district. This horrifying event that allows random teenagers and their angst to roam the malls and streets starting at 12:15pm happened to coincide with my day to meet the mommy group at Starbucks. And wouldn't you know it? Teenagers lurve their caffeine. Literally PACKS of teenagers were descending upon Starbucks as I pulled in to the parking lot. They were hanging on the rails of the outside seating area like monkeys at the zoo. They were scurrying across the parking lot in front of my car. Don't think I didn't count up the number of points they were worth.
One mom was already in Starbucks, sitting alone with her child, staring out the window, and from the look on her face, desperately willing the rest of us to show up. I was so relieved that for once I hadn't been Miss Punctuality. I am so on time it is embarrassing. Fortunately today, Ethan decided to take one of his 20 minutes nap at just the right time to make us 5 minutes late.
Seriously people. They were like locusts.
And they gawked as each one of us walked through the door with our babies. The girls "awwwwwwwwed" in their high-pitched girly voices, waking up the babies who were sleeping. The boys paid no attention until it looked like a baby might be getting ready to nurse; then the thought of seeing naked real life booby piqued their interest and they were all about oooh'ing and ahhhh'ing at the babies.
As I stood in line to order my grande peppermint hot chocolate (just saying that makes me feel warm and fuzzy--oh, and fat), Ethan was accosted by a green-haired girl from the *alternative* crew. She was in front of us with her guy friend who will be coming out of the closet shortly. Until then he's just going to write really deep and disturbing poetry. Anyway----as she turned around and saw Ethan in his cute little Bjorn, she did her cute, teenage girl giggle (pom poms or black lipstick, the giggle is usually the same), turned to her Will & said, "How much money do you have in your wallet? Can you buy me that baby?"
Wha???? So weird. How do you respond to that? I did one of those, "I sort of heard you, but I'm pretending not to pay attention" smiles and ignored it. Kids say the darnedest things....
4 comments:
You are not old, old,old. Those creatures are just young, dumb, dumb and dumber! Maybe you need to find a new Starbucks or a different time to go there! Stay away from anyone who even jokes about buying (stealing) your baby!!
My mom used to tell me a story about visiting a friend whose 7 year old burst into the conversation breathlessly to ask "Mom, mom, in the Colonial Days, when the two of you were girls...did you....?"
That doesn't make us old, it only makes them young, rude and pretty stupid. Just watch Jay Leno's walkabouts and you will see...
We have a food court in my office building and when its overrun with teenagers it is unbearable...but then I'm really old...or at least Ethan will think so :-)
you're funny.
Hey darling, at one point we were one of those angst driven, mall rats, writing prose about our experience because WE were the first ones to do it (jus tlike everyone else.
Ohh, how time has caught up with us and tricked us into being parents and that judgmental genes just come out, as compared to the lack-of-judgement genes which rane rampant through our systems so many years ago.
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