So the man in my bed snores and the little man in my belly gets hiccups. Both at about 3am. And I am the exclusive audience--I feel very special.
Both the hiccupping and the snoring are new. In almost 5 years with the husband, there was never any snoring. I was amazed--had I met the one man on earth who wasn't going to keep me awake for the rest of my life with the nasal symphony? I think I snored more than him during the first four years and I'm just a dainty little girl ( ha ha).
Then something tragic happened. On the first night of our honeymoon, if you can even believe it, the man I have committed my life to starts with the buzz-saw. I almost got up and walked around the room to see where the noise was coming from (perhaps some rare Hawaiian bug or bird was trapped in our room); it could not be coming from my husband's nose!!!
It was. And it has, almost every night since. What the hell is THAT???? Was he tricking me? How could someone turn it off for years, then, once the deal was sealed, let 'er rip?! I believe him, if somewhat warily, when he says that the snoring thing really IS new. But it is a real head-scratcher...
The hiccupping, on the other hand, is delightful. Delightful in a "this would be better at 3pm than at 3am" way, but delightful nonetheless...I have heard of it, and I knew it would be coming once I got used to the kicking. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to identify it and would that mean I was destined to be a bad mother? There are all these pregnant women who say, "Oh, his foot is right here" and point with absolute certainty to a spot on their belly. How do they KNOW??!! Couldn't it be a hand? Or an elbow? Are they making it up to sound like they are that in touch with their babies? Or can they really tell?
I"m not there yet--I know when I am being pushed and shoved from within, but I still am not certain what is a kick and what is a punch. I have a really good idea of where my bladder is at all times, and I definitley knew that the rhythmic bouncing in my belly was hiccups.
And if he could have heard over his snoring, husband probably would have been woken up by my giggling...