All right--here it is. The big "I'm hormonal and pissy" post. After almost 4 weeks on bedrest, I feel qualified to say that the most infuriating thing a non-bed-ridden person can say to me, or any other bed-arrest prisoner is, "Oh, that sounds so nice. I wish I were on bedrest!!!"
Let me explain, to the idiots who think this is an appropriate thing to say to me, why it is sooooooo not.
1. Bedrest is not a vacation. I am not lounging in a bathing suit, sipping umbrella drinks and being fanned by scantily clad cabana boys. It is a prison-sentence. I am not supposed to sit up above 45 degrees and I am only allowed out of bed to relieve myself and bathe myself. Whoever thinks that is a vacation, needs to consider some therapy to overcome their masochistic tendencies.
2. It is boring. This is sort of the same as reason #1, but I have more to say. There is no para-sailing, or touring of ancient ruins. It is hours of watching Ellen, the news, bad Lifetime movies, and tossing and turning to find a comfortable position that doesn't require you to actually sit up. It is noticing that there is a chip in the wood of your ceiling fan. It is counting the number of days left on bedrest (94.5 days) and how many hours (2268 hours). It is watching your fingernails grow boring...
3. And the most important reason why you should never, ever say "Oh, I wish I were on bedrest" to a bed-ridden woman is because she is ONLY ON BEDREST BECAUSE THE LIFE OF HER UNBORN CHILD IS IN JEOPARDY!! Why can people not realize that? How is it possible that people think I am just a bit tired and therefore get to kick back and relax? Your job may suck, you might be exhausted, you might desperately need a vacation and be in general unhappy with your place in life--but if you aren't desperate to carry a baby to term, YOU DO NOT NEED BEDREST. so shut the f*ck up about how tired you are and how lucky I am!!!
I have had strangers and friends and even other pregnant women say this to me...I know, know, know that they mean no harm and it hasn't even crossed their mind that it might be a hurtful thing to say. They have not done the research on incompetent cervix. They have not had their doctor tell them that if their child is born before 24 weeks, there is nothing they can even try to do to save him. They do not read week-by-week updates on fetal development so they will know what kind of treatment their baby would need if he were born this week, or next week. They do not live with the reality that if this stupid stitch in their tiny cervix does not hold and they go into labor too soon, they are not going to be raising this child--they are going to be burying him.
Most of the time I am very positive and upbeat about this whole thing; my prognosis is excellent and my baby keeps growing and is apparently decorating (there are definitely hammers and maybe a sledgehammer involved) in there, so I imagine he plans on staying. But this comment sends me over the edge (really?! Hadn't noticed....)