Sunday, February 19, 2006

Happy Anniversary, Cerclage...

It's been one whole month since I met my friend, cerclage. Bizarre how life has changed in the past 30 days...

I used to get up at 6am, shower, drive to work, spend my day being irritated by teenagers (and adults alike), grocery shop, pick up a bit around the house, get coffee with my girlfriends, go out to dinner with my husband and watch a little (okay, a lot) TV...

Now, when I get up at 6am to pee, it seems like the middle of the night and I think "how uncivilized" to have to roll out of bed at this hour. I am so grateful to crawl back in between my warm covers, with DH snoring next to me, feeling the little man in my belly kick his good morning as I fall back to sleep for another 2 (at least) hours.

Work? I admit that I was burnt out to begin with this year; getting pregnant was such a welcome excuse to let my mind wander. Having only one class to teach and administrative duties made "pregnancy brain" that much easier. After eleven years of dealing with teens, I don't really even feel guilty admitting that I am, to some degree, relishing the idea that I don't have to put up with them in the last months of my pregnancy.

Don't get me wrong; I do, God help me, enjoy teenagers--they crack me up with their developing personalities and their passionate belief systems that seem to be based in vanishing quick sand rather than real life experience. They make my heart ache with their angst, real or imagined, because it doesn't take too much effort for me to dig down and recall my own teen-angst (almost entirely imagined, but ferociously real to me at the time). And I love that, even when they spent the majority of their time with me talking back and blowing off my instruction as so much useless drivel, I hear now from my colleagues that they miss me and want me to come back--they are such fickle creatures that they are loveable in spite of themselves...

So back to "the way it used to be" vs. "life a la cerclage"....

grocery shopping? Yeah, Dante from Safeway delivered our groceries to our front door this week, 24 hours after I ordered them online. Convenient, yes. It spared my sanity a bit to know that husband didn't have to work 10 hours and then go out to the grocery store to buy our food for the week. Of course, there were some complications---the sugar free popcicles somehow magically turned into sugar-bomb pops; same flavors, 100% more sugar and calories. My own fault for allowing substitution...The ice cream also showed up as low-cal, low-fat. ugh. Perhaps that is the universe's way of saying, "Lay off the regular Breyers, fatty"....maybe I will do a week of fake ice cream and then a week of real ice cream, because right now--i CAN'T go without the ice cream. The baby neeeeeeeds it.

Coffee with the girlfriends still happens, but instead of meeting at Starbucks, we sit in my livingroom. What I need is a barista bar in my diningroom. I miss the "whissssssh" of the foaming milk and the clunking of whatever the hell it is they clunk around behind the espresso machine...

My perinatologist has promised me the possibility of "going out to dinner once a week" when I get further on in my pregnancy. I guess that all depends on my good friends, Cervix and Cerclage. If they behave, they'll be allowed out of the house at some point. Of course, the doctor is talking about weeks and weeks in the future. Like April...late April.

But all in all, the last month hasn't been that bad. I mean, I'm still pregnant, right?! I"m not in any real pain (which never ceases to amaze me considering I basically have a length of fishing wire holding a part of my body together), and I am constantly amazed by how many people come to visit or call, or offer to help in any way possible.

As husband and i were saying the other day--we always seem to get handed these incredibly raw deals, some more dire in nature than others, but raw nonetheless. But, we always get through. We always find a way to strengthen ourselves, as a couple and as individuals through whatever the universe throws at us. This is no different...one month down, and if all goes according to "plan", three to go...

2 comments:

KMW said...

Hi Sarah,

Good luck with everything. I have hope that it will all go well. I am just starting to blog on this subject myself!

Anonymous said...

This is quite alearning experience, isn't it? Perspectives change greatly and strength of character are moulded. You and husband are being strengthened both together and individually. Only 3 months to go sounds good to me!