Wednesday, June 17, 2009

For anyone who won't be able to sleep tonight without knowing the state of my ovaries...

We missed it. I went to the RE yesterday, ponied up another $100 for a tryst with the dildo-cam, just to find that the pretty follicle I was growing last week had already popped its goods and collapsed. Regardless of your location in the world, you may have felt the aftershocks of my nuclear-blast of my "WHAT??????? COME ON!!!!" reaction when the RE told me.

I was good, though. There was no weeping (in front of the RE), but I did sulk enough to merit an arm around my shoulder and a "Don't worry. We'll get it right soon", to which I responded with a wicked intelligent and eloquent, "I hope so because this really sucks." Seriously, the English teacher in me fades farther and farther from my consciousness every day and I find my brain mushier and more devoid of substance (and vocabulary) daily. I didn't even realize what was going on in Iran until yesterday because Noggin, those sonsofbitches, don't do hourly world news updates in between Yo Gabba Gabba and Little Bear.

Anyway, I digress. Back in the car, Ethan asked if I was okay (yeah, did I mention I had to bring him? To my dildo-cam appointment? I sat him on the chair way behind my head, told him the doctor was going to look at my tummy, and I gave him a lollipop. I hope I didn't traumatize him for life. Do you think?). He is such a sweetheart, and such a lovebug, he could tell I was upset and probably knew that the banana split we found in front of us 15 minutes later, because I said he was such a good boy that he deserved a treat, was more for me than for him.

But what can I do? I had a bum set of ovulation tests. And for those who mentioned them, I was also using the digital ovulation tests, because I am JUST that obsessive---I was peeing on the regular sticks AND using digitals at the same time. I guess I just started using the digitals too late (because I didn't get them until I started to suspect that the regular tests were faulty).

Next month I will be camping out at my RE's office daily from the time of my follicle check until I meet the turkey baster (IUI) again. I don't care if they have to bleed me dry, they are doing blood tests every day to check for ovulation. I'm not going to be injecting fertility meds (especially knowing what's in some of those things---um, ew.) into my belly or my butt every day just to miss another ovulation.

Thank you for all of your kind words and thoughts. It really does mean a lot to Husband and me that friends, family and interweb strangers alike are pulling for us.

12 comments:

Amy said...

Well that's a bunch of horseshit. I am really sorry.

Anonymous said...

I know it will happen, Sarah.
You have so much strength, I am proud to be your uncle/

A;;en

lonek8 said...

I wish there were some way I could help. If I didn't live a thousand miles away from LA I would offer to be a surrogate for you. I will send my fertility wishes harder this month

Sarah said...

"I didn't even realize what was going on in Iran until yesterday because Noggin, those sonsofbitches, don't do hourly world news updates in between Yo Gabba Gabba and Little Bear." -- this is fabulous.

That sucks, Sarah.

I'm sorry.

(hey-- on a totally unrelated note, I am happy to read you more often)

Becca said...

We are pulling for you. So sorry.

AJU5's Mom said...

At least you know your ovaries did do their job! Hopefully this month will be THE month!

miraclebaby said...

I am so sorry! Hang in there. I'll be thinking of you.

Pam said...

Sarah, I am really sorry, too. I've been thinking a lot about you, and Ethan, and your hubz, lately... still love reading your blog! and if I'm ever in the LA area, can I come over and organize some stuff again? :)

sarah said...

Thanks so much ladies, and Pam, I have seriously been wishing you were around here---this place is, as you can imagine, a complete wreck after a year of my "organizational" skills. LOL

Stephanie said...

I'm sorry. :(

Alice said...

That really sucks indeed. There is something to be said for getting right to the heart of it w/o the need for flowery vocabulary. I'm so sorry your going through this. This internet stranger is definitely pulling for you and your family.

Avonlea said...

Well, damn. :-(

"[...]because Noggin, those sonsofbitches, don't do hourly world news updates in between Yo Gabba Gabba and Little Bear."

LOL!