Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Ethan's big-boy laundry sorter...

Remember how I used to call Ethan's crib the most expensive laundry sorter ever purchased because he never spent one night or one nap in it, ever? And how a couple months ago we bought him a big-boy bed & prepared ourselves for the grand transition? And how we then decided that since we had that wedding to go to in early September and then Ethan and I were going to visit my parents at the end of September that we'd just wait until October to make the transition? And then we realized "Wait a minute. We can't do that. The cats are currently living in Ethan's room because of the kitchen remodel. We'll just have to wait until that's done with."

Now that's done with. And so, logically we should be making that transition, right? I mean, he's a year and a half, he hasn't nursed in months, so there's no convenience factor to claim. He's sleeping better at night now and would probably even sleep better if he had his own space.

So why can we not bring ourselves to introduce him to his own bed? Right now we are using the excuse of his ear infection. Who moves a baby to a cuddleless place when they don't feel well?! The horror.

I know people think we are lunatics. Well, some people. I know some people think it is a sign of weak parenting and lack of boundaries. A few years ago, I might have agreed with them. Husband grew up in a family bed, so for him it was kind of a no-brainer. For me, though, it took a bit more convincing. I never shared a bed with my parents as a little girl, and having been raised an only child, I am fiercely protective of my space. In all the years I envisioned myself as a mother, I never saw a baby in my bed. There was always an image of me lovingly placing my baby in a crib, turning down the light and then joining my dinner guests for a glass of wine in the living room. Oh silly me. Go ahead and have a good laugh over that one. And if you had a baby that let you do that, more power to you. That is the dream, right?

I don't know when I became convinced that co-sleeping was the right thing for us. I know there were times, even after we'd been co-sleeping for months, that I fought against it and tried to convince Husband that we had to make the transition "this very minute because my god I can't take it one more night". It was usually during a time when Ethan was teething or sick or dealing with some other sleep disturber, and I am a complete loon without enough sleep. Husband would logically explain to me that given the circumstances, we'd be up just as often with him if he were in his own room, only we'd be getting up and going back and forth all night instead of all being snug in bed together. I hate when he's right.

So now we come to today. I have become so used to the warmth of his little body and the sound of his breathing next to me. I cannot imagine it any other way. And so, for now, Ethan's big boy bed remains a place to sort laundry and give the cat's the impression that we did indeed get them their own bed (poor deluded fools). We'll get there. I am infinitely confident that he will be sleeping in his own bed well before college. But as I'm constantly realizing as he changes and grows by the minute, there's no need to rush anything.


KMW said...

Whatever works! And having walked back and forth all night last night as baby readjusted to California and daylight savings, I can attest, that yes. I was up and down all night, eventually hauling him into my bed anyway.Nothing was really better except that I wasn't getting out of bed. It's true that I can't imagine an 18 year old Ethan sharing his bed with you!!

Alice said...

Oh my GOD, I'm so there with you on this post! We have a 14 month old family bed habit and I am nodding my head so fiercly as I read your post I'm about to get whiplash. All of it, the desire for space and sleep, the concern over it as a parenting choice, the putting off the transition for this or that reason, right down to the insanely priced "extra" linen storage that is his convertable crib, I'm there with you sister. But I am assured by all those who family bedded around me, that he'll be in his own well before college, and if not, there's always grad school!

Anonymous said...

He will be on his own as soon as he realizes that he "vants to be alone" and have "my space" and well before college he'll probably be putting up signs like "beware all ye who enter here" or something of that ilk! It WILL happen and sooner rather than later. Trust me.