Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Finally, an excuse for all my belly fat...

Apparently belly fat is a GREAT receptacle for fertility drugs. Well, bring it! Thank goodness I've been storing up this fat since my pregnancy with Ethan! You know how they say muscle has a memory and can bounce back to it's former shape when "reminded" to by exercise? Wouldn't it be cool if my tummy flab also had a memory and could remember being knocked up? That would be awesome. A couple of shots in the "smiley face right below the belly button" (yeah, that's what the lady called it) and POOF! fat cells start yawning, stretching and saying, "heyyyyyyy, wasn't I pregnant a little while ago? That was awesome. Let's do that again."

I'm sorry. What the hell am I talking about? Oh yeah, I had my injectables training today. The nurse/therapist who did the training was wonderful, very comforting. She came equipped with a 1.5 hour long power point presentation (you read that correctly) about the entire process, detailing everything from what phone numbers and extensions will give you an actual real live person on the other end of the phone in the office, to how many days to abstain from sex before your procedure. To everything in between---and there's a LOT of stuff in between.

Funniest part of the training? On the way in, another woman and I noticed a bunch of green "gift bags" at an entry table, turned to each and said, "Swag at the infertility clinic? Nice touch." Maybe she went to BlogHer, too.

Also? A tiny little women who I think may have been Chinese came into the conference room a few minutes late, meekly sat down next to me and was silent for the majority of the nurse's presentation. As the nurse went from standard clinic procedures into discussing the actual process of giving the shots, this tiny little woman's voice, heavily accented came out of nowhere, "Wait. Doctor doesn't do shots??? WE do shots??? WE do??!!" Poor girl. Yes, WE do the shots ourselves. And not the vodka kind. I wondered why she thought she had to go to a training session if the doctor was going to be the one doing the shots. But it was hilarious. Fortunately she took it in stride once she digested the news that she was going to have to give herself her own shots.

I'm relieved I didn't have to actually stick myself in the belly today. We were given a variety of shots to work with, but administered them into a foam square instead of our (my) own chub. So if everything goes according to the current plan, on Thursday I will start shooting my belly full of hormones for nine days. Then, the night of the tenth day I'll give myself another shot to force my body to ovulate and then off we go for the IUI.

My hope is that we get this process done before it's time to sit down to the dinner table on Thanksgiving. My family's not one to discuss these sorts of matters over a meal, but I may not be able to resist a turkey-baster joke unless the IUI is already behind me.

11 comments:

Amy said...

I will pay actual money for you to make an IUI joke at the Thanksgiving table!

sarah said...

LOL, okay, Amy, you can also pay the ER co-pay when my dad chokes on his turkey after said IUI joke. ;-)

Venti Vixen said...

Ugh, you are braver than I. I entertained an infertility post today and couldn't bring myself to write it. I haven't even touched that on my blog yet, although it could provide enough fodder for a friggin' book. I hope it all goes smoothly for you!

Kate said...

Good luck !!

Sue said...

Your IUI jokes could not be any worse than MY mil's convo about her "rabbit poops" at the Easter dinner table a few years ago.

God luck as you move forward in your journey.

Sarah said...

LOL@ Amy!

Love the smiley face description.

1.5 HOUR powerpoint? yikes.

GL

Linsey said...

Mmm... vodka.

Bridget said...

yet another similarity in our lives! i just finished daily injections, had my retrieval monday and have my transfer tomorrow (doing IVF). I commented a while back on how much in common we have and it just keeps on keepin' on. Good luck with everything (the shots aren't bad at all...once you get over the first one).

Anonymous said...

Hey Sarah, I remember my training with Ryan, and they did "practice on me. " Since Ryan would be giving me the shots they had him do both the subcutaneous and the intramuscular one. They said he had to so they didn't get any hysterical calls at night when he isn't able to do it. LOVED THAT!!

Barb

cicadalady said...

love the description, you always make me laugh. (even though now it's through your blog and not at the park.) wishing you luck!

Dana said...

You are brave to do your injections in your belly. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I stabbed myself in the leg and in my fanny. Luckily, my ass was and is big enough that there was no problem reaching it. Hang in there, and I too, would love to hear a turkey baster joke.